Rats a Lot
by batman100
Summary: The X-Mansion is infested with rats. This means WAR


**Rats A Lot!**

**I do not own any X-Men: Evolution characters going berserk while trying to catch or squash pesky rats. Inspired by Red Witch's Mouse in the House. Enjoy!**

"Well; all the rat traps are set, **finally**." Victor heaved, as he and Scott examined all the rattraps through the mansion

"Good. Now what about the…" Scott started before a snapping sound was heard, followed by a bloodcurdling scream. Victor and Scott faced each other and gulped deeply as Jean entered, with a deranged look and a rattrap on her red hair

"OK! Who's' the wise guy? Who's the wise guy?" Jean angrily snarled, trying in vain to remove the rattrap before noticing Victor's hand reaching for the door "AHA! I **KNEW** IT WAS YOU, VICTOR!"

"Jean, please. It's-It's not what you think. It was an AACK!" Victor gasped as Jean strangled him crazily

"EITHER YOU GET THOSE TRAPS OUT OF MY HOUSE, OR SO HELP ME…" Jean ranted before Scott whistled loudly with his fingers

"Hold it! We set them up because we have **rats** in the house!" Scott pleaded, before Jean eyed him curiously

"…What?" Jean flatly asked. Scott rolled his eyes, and with a wave of his hand, directed Jean's eyes to a hole in the wall. Victor could tell Jean's eye was twitching

"Three, two, one…" Victor covered his ears before…

"EEEEEKKKKKK!" Jean shrieked wildly, the mansion windows shattering, the glass dishes and plates cracking, the car windows smashing, the greenhouse collapsing, even the large pond house splattered into a million glass stalagmites.

"Geez! Who the bloody hell could've seen **THAT** coming?" Scott gasped incredulously, having placed earmuffs on his head after Jean's banshee wail

"Yeah, no kiddin'. Thanks to Red's howling, my hearing's gone flat." Victor replied, rubbing his sore forehead

"Well, Jean, you really didn't need to overreact all the time. It's just…" Scott started before seeing Jean clad in a military commando-like outfit, rifles hoisted on her shoulder, and with a large Thompson machine gun in her hands, as the rest of the X-Men gaped, jaws dropped in horror

"Can't we just call an exterminator?" Bobby whined before Jean's rifle was aimed at his head

"Oh no. This time, it's **personal.**" Jean snarled, spitting out chewing tobacco before loading her rifle

"I'll set up the medical unit…again." Rogue groaned

Two hours later…

"Geez, you think Jean's really taking this rat-hunting thing seriously? I mean, c'mon, they're so cute and tiny…" Kitty said before Tabitha stopped her

"Kitty, those things you call **cute** and **tiny**… made a large mess out of my pink slippers this morning!" Tabitha snapped, holding up two gnawed-up pink slippers

"I see your point. But as I was saying…" Kitty continued before both girls screamed and ducked for cover as the sound of machine gun fire echoed through the mansion

**KA-BOOOM!**

"Nice shooting, Tex. That counts about oh, fifteen direct misses, and the rat is still on the run." Warren sarcastically added, as he, Scott, Remy, Logan, Kurt and Peter examined the many, many bullet holes through the walls of the recreation room as Jean then held up a grenade, laughing insanely

"Jean? What…are you doing with that?" Warren nervously asked as Jean removed the pin before throwing it into the rat hole

"Kurt, I'd cover my ears if I were you…" Scott winced, as all X-Men ducked for cover

**FWAMMMMM!**

"Well, congratulations, Rambo, you've successfully reduced half of the entire mansion into rubble! What do you have to say for yourself?" Rogue snarled before a miraculously unharmed Jean held up a burnt, small object by the tail

"What in… but, but… how in… How did you…" Logan sputtered incoherently, moving toward the armchair, unaware of a certain, small hazardous object on the center cushion

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Jean snickered as Logan eyed her gruffly

"And why the hell not?" Logan snapped "It would be a large pain." Jean chuckled "Pfft, yeah right." Logan remarked, lowering down on the armchair before…

"Oh boy." Scott winced, covering his ears as Logan bellowed

"AAAAARRRRGH!"

"I **told** you it would be a pain… in the buttocks, that is!" Jean cackled maniacally as the entire X-Men were rolling on the floor, laughing in hysterics

"I SUPPOSE YOU MANIACS THINK THAT'S **FUNNY?**" Logan snarled angrily as Scott tried desperately to keep a straight face

"Don't you **DARE**!" Logan growled. Scott then snapped, guffawing loudly, banging his fist on the table in amusement

"Laughter is the best medicine!" Jean grinned, winking at the camera


End file.
